Its 2023, do people even read blogs anymore? Probably not. Even if they did, would anyone want to read my blog? Probably not. Do Care? Probably not.
For content its a random Thursday evening, in sunny June. Its 9pm and Im in bed with my 5 year old daughter asleep next to me and I realised something. For the last year or so now I have been really getting into, reading and learning all about self development. And although I have been loving everything I have been learning, I'm getting frustrated. I'm overwhelmed. With so much to learn, so much to put into practice, and so many areas of my life I want to improve, its too much and I'm getting nowhere. I need to get my shit in order, I've been bitting and bobbing in so many different things I cant keep up. I've been trying to lose weight, eat healthier, drink more water, walk 10k steps a day, eat more protein, start running, work on my mindset, work on manifestations, heal past traumas, discover why I am the way I am, improve relationships, be a good mum, start a side hustle, start a passive income project, be a writer, practice self care, declutter my house, swake up earlier, start a morning routine, read more, meditate, practice gratitue, try visulisation, start a capsule wardrobe, work on my money minsdet, double my income, quit my 9 to 5 and do something I love, take up hobbies I enjoy, and probably so much more than I cant even think about right now, becasue I am too god damn overwhelmed! I cant fucking do it!
Looking at the monster list now, I'm not suprised! Trying to do all that while working full time, running a house (a fucking renovation project, I might add), look after 3 kids, not to mention the everyday duties of life. Im trying to do all that in my spare hour or so a day, come on!
Anyway, back to my realsation, I had 10 minutes ago I bed. I realised I dont want to stop trying to do all the things I want to do, I dont want to stop trying to be the person I want to be. But I need some kind of bloodly order! So thats what this is. I decided to write a blog, because, 1, I want to be a writer, so hey makes sense to start writing. 2, I cant keep up with my 1000 note pads with scribbles of actions plans I write depending on what mood I'm in that day. 3, I need to get these thoughts out of my mind, beacause, I cant sleep alright! I always feel better once my thoughts are written down, they are locked in, I wont forget them that way!
So one step at a time, with the help of my new blog getting things in order, one day at a time, I'm going to starting getting things in order. One actionable step at a time. That's my plan anyway, I'll see how it goes, I always come up with these ideas I need to do right there and then (pretty sure I have undianosged ADHD, but I havent got time to think about that right now) and I usually give up in a week and start some other great plan. But here I am, trying my best, and I guess thats all I can ever do, right?
Back to my originally question, will anyone ever read this? No but Its probably for the best. This is for me and if its only me that ever see's this, then I happy with that. Is this just another way of distracting myself from my actual to do list. Maybe. Do I need another daily task of writing a blog. Definely not. But if anything, I feel better in this moment, I feel happy that I have taken a step and now I can go to sleep with a clear mind.
(or maybe my mind will be racing with thoughts of what I can write tomorrow. Knowing me this will definely be the case. Its taking a lot of streneght not to write a months worth of posts right here, right now. But no, thats not what I want to do, I want to take it day by day. Right now I am buzzing, full of beans, tomorrow I probably wont be arsed!) I am going to play around with the blog settings though, make it pretty.
One more thing, I like writing. Loved writing this. Want to be a writer? Then write.
I'll stop rambling now.
Spell check? Fuck that! (I will probably come back later to do this though)
Publish!
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